Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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