I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
