Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She has the best kind of daddy issues
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
