i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
