I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
