I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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