My nipple is on Facebook.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
