People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
