there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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