I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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