WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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