I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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