Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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