Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize