Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
