Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
