Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
