Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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