We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
