Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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