I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
