even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize