Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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