Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize