My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
