We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
