fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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