I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
50% drunk capacity currently
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
