i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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