Christians are straight up FREAKS
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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