New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
