zippers are such a cool invention
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
