Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Just high enough for therapy.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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