no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
