Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
