Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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