its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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