I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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