do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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