you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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