Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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