her vagine was all disorganized.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
