Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
