I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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