Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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