Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
