I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
