I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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