I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize