I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
