My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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