is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
