haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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