if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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