I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
