"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
