Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
