look no pants
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
someone owes me an orgasm
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
