we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
