i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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