i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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