i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My penis needs a shock collar
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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