He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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