She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize