I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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